Who am I anyway?
After 25 years as an
award winning
advertising Execu-
woman I'm on a
campaign to inspire
women to unzip their
inner joy through
my writing, paintings
and transformational
speaking. To find out
more about me
over here.

Do you know a Goddess
of Transformation?

Each month we'll honor
a woman who has
changed her life or
someone else's. 

Contact me to
nominate yourself or
another goddess
(and tell me why).

Will you be your Valentine?

Ever since we were little, we’ve imagined The Man of Our Dreams galloping in with a bouquet of roses,a box of Godiva and…. (insert your Valentine fantasy.)

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely  love Love.

And the idea of a holiday (even a Hallmark induced one), dedicated to Love makes Valentines Day my all-time favorite day ever.

(Of course, it doesn’t hurt that for the last 25 years, I’ve been blessed with the most lovable, romantic, thoughtful, creative and huge-hearted husband on earth.)

But that’s besides the point.

Eventually, flowers wilt. Candles burn down. And chocolate melts.

No matter how romantic the evening, at some point Prince Charming is bound to turn back into a pumpkin (or a mere mortal).

And I’d be willing to bet that even Brad Pitt leaves the toilet seat up and that George Clooney has been known to wake up with bad breath.

It’s not that I’m anti-romance. (Au contraire, mes amies.)

But I have learned that no matter how many sweet nothings someone else whispers in our ear, what really matters are the things we say to ourselves.

True Love is about our relationship to our own hearts.

And like any relationship, it takes effort. We need to take the time to fall in love with ourselves.

Here are some ways that I’m working on it. (Why is it so much easier to be loving to others than ourselves?)

How can I love Me? Let me count the ways:

1. Dim the lights. And gaze into your own eyes. Turn down that glare of self-criticism every time you pass the mirror.

Make a choice to see the beauty of Who You Really Are. (Never mind the bags under your eyes. See the wisdom in them.)

2. Make a date with yourself. Even if it’s only five minutes a day, take the time to listen to the longings of your heart. In between the should’s and have to’s, put your hand on your heart and breathe.

Ask yourself: “What do I feel like now?”

An adventure? Some girl time? A walk in nature? A nap? A bubble bath? Or the sheer luxury of doing nothing. Zilch. Nada.

3. Write yourself a love note. (Or a Valentine.) It sounds kinda corny. But imagine that you are honoring a dear friend. Thank her  for who she is and what she gives the world. What special things makes her Her—I mean you You?

After all, how can we expect the world to acknowledge our gifts if we don’t first do that for ourselves?

Go ahead, pour on the flowery language and mega-mushiness. You’ll love yourself for it. (Especially when you re-read it later on a self-sabotaging day.)

Last but not least, I wish you the Happiest Valentines Day.

May your heart leap with the joy of spending quality time with the most special someone in your life.


(Btw, if this speaks to you, please share it with like-hearted goddesses and/or leave a comment below. xoxo)

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25 comments to Will you be your Valentine?

  • Barby Darby Cahill


    You brought me to Marianne and she is helping me with this very issue!! Your Goddessbloggess is so timely!!!!!!

    XOXO Barby

    • Barby, I was just thinking of you today. I can see that Marianne would be a tremendous gift. And I do believe we are the most creative when we are feeding ourselves that self-love.
      Sending you virtual hugs xoxo

  • Lainey

    I loved this! Thank you, such an important message to remember. I loved IT, I love YOU, and now I better give some to myself!!
    xoxox Lainey

  • Wendi-
    A message I really needed today. Thank you for sharing your heart and speaking your voice. By doing that, you inspire me to do that too. Love (including self-love) to all us Goddesses this Valentine’s Day.

  • These are so beautiful Wendi!!! I love your “Love Myself” tips. I felt so romantic with myself just reading them. You are always offering such divine wisdom bundled up in joy and fun!

  • Wendi. I love love too and resonated so beautifully with being my own Valentine. YOU’RE THE LOVE GODDESS!!
    It all starts with self-love. The true foundation of our lives. Thanks for reminding us and for your sage wisdom. I love you.

  • ellen

    wendi– you brought tears to my eyes- i so love your writing. thank-you for making me feel better today xoxoxoxo ellen

  • Krikit

    I’m so glad you’re back in your goddess headquarters, Wendi! I’ve missed your ministering’s!

    I absolutely LUV #3! I AM going to do this for myself! I’m going to go to the store tomorrow and find a card I would send to my best female friend and send it to myself with all of the loveliest things I can think of to say to Me, Myself and I – I’m going to really appreciate myself in word.

    Thank you for such a simple, uplifting idea! ~:)

    • Krikit. thank you for noticing that I’ve been away…(dealing with some sad parent health problems.)
      I need to remind myself to do the same thing! Much love to you and big hearty hugs xoxo

  • Wonderful insight as always Wendi. I WILL be my Valentine! I read somewhere earlier today about proclaiming it “self love” day instead of romantic love day, and who knows maybe our modern Cupid would just adore the idea. Love you bunches my goddessfriend!!

  • Will

    As your husband for 25 years, I applaud all that you have been and are becoming…I love, love ,love you!
    Oprah needs you, too…


  • Even though the sign hanging in front my tree house says “No Girls Allowed”, you would be welcome. Happy Valentine’s Day.

  • Gosh, wish I started doing this at sixteen and then did it twice as much at 20! love the date with yourself gosh so important whether getting your nails done or going for a walk or just daydreaming. Love note is a great idea too!

    • Thanks, Jacqueline. Yes, I agree….wish I had been doing this for a lifetime. Even now as I write this stuff, it’s as much a reminder for me as it is for everyone else. So much undoing entailed. Thanks being such a Goddess of Support in my lifexo

  • Anne Shinbrot-Calderon

    Why does it take us so long to realize how important it is to like (love) ourselves? To be able to turn off that little critical, damning voice is quite a forward step. I loved this article and thank you for it, forwarding it to my sisters who need to read and absorbe it as well.

    • Dear Anne,
      What I’ve realized is that it’s one thing to say we need to love ourselves and quite another to figure out how to do that.
      It’s really helpful to know that we’re all in this together. And hopefully, we can help each other feel the love.
      I love that you took the time to respond and that you’re sharing it.

  • Marnie

    Very nice Wendy. Really worth thinking about. xo

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