Who am I anyway?
...
After 25 years as an
award winning
advertising Execu-
woman I'm on a
campaign to inspire
women to unzip their
inner joy through
my writing, paintings
and transformational
speaking. To find out
more about me
zip
over here.



Do you know a Goddess
of Transformation?

Each month we'll honor
a woman who has
changed her life or
someone else's. 

Contact me to
nominate yourself or
another goddess
(and tell me why).

Uh-oh. I've outgrown my vase.

When I got laid off my job a few years ago, my ego was wounded.

My bank account was shaken.

But my spirit was overjoyed.

The truth is, day after day, I had been trying to squeeze myself into a job that no longer fit Who I Had Become.

Each morning, My Head shoved my body out the door, reminding me how lucky I was to have a great big Execu-Woman job at one of the best ad agencies in L.A.

But My Heart longed to stay home.

To write, to paint, to breathe, to putter in the garden and most of all, to mother the Miracle Boy that the doctors said I could never have.

Down deep, both My Head and My Heart knew that I was put on this earth to do more than write car commercials.

But, since I was in no position to quit my job, I contained myself.

I wore a “professional smiling face” in meetings and then burst into tears when no one was watching.

I felt like I gigantic sunflower trying to thrive in a tiny little bud vase.

Not that there’s anything wrong with bud vases.

But even if it was  made of Waterford crystal, my spirit was feeling scrunched, squelched and squashed.

Well, eventually, everything just toppled over.

Glass shattered. And I was vase-less. It hurt deep in my soul.

Now, a few years (and much therapy) later, I know it was a gift.

I‘m grateful to have had the time and space (sunshine and water) to make my dreams grow.

To get the chance to create my own business. And to be the one picking my son up from school.

I’m not saying that it’s been easy (my bank account agrees).

With growth comes loss —whether you’re letting go of a job, a lifestyle, a relationship,or just an old way of looking at things.

But I for one, would rather deal with the pain now than find myself sitting in a rocking chair someday, with a long list of shoulda-coulda-woulda’s.

I say, keep blooming. Don’t shrink to fit.

I’ve found that the more I shine my great big sunflower self on the world, the more light comes back to me.

I’m so grateful for all the friendships and possibilities that have been blossoming since I  planted myself deep in the soil of Who I Really Am.

Like the chance to share my heart and my voice in this blog. (And hopefully hear back from you. Hint-hint.)

So, what do you think? Are growing pains worth the pleasure?

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34 comments to Uh-oh. I’ve outgrown my vase.

  • Mary Beth Ogulewicz

    I was very touched by your comments which reminded me of my own life. IT takes far more courage to reach for the light and not be fearful of our fullest expressions of ourselves than it does to remain in a tight bud. Beautifully written blog!

    • Thank you, Mary Beth. It really helps when we cheer each other on. It helps us continue to find the courage to expand. You’ve done that for me, right here. So, now we’re even….Big hugs,
      Wendi

  • I seriously take pleasure in what you blog about here, extremely insightful and smart. 1 difficulty though, I’m running Firefox on Debian and parts of one’s website structure are somewhat off. I know it is not a frequent setup, but it’s still some thing to to keep in thoughts. Just giving you a heads up.

    • Thank you Deeann, I’ll check with my Web Goddess about that….I am a total technophobe so I barely know what you’re talking about. But so great to hear from you.

  • Lainey

    Thank you so much for the explanation about your artwork. I use words so much in my work I am less inclined to use them on the blog….but want you to know how deeply enriched and nourished I feel by the paintings and colors. I’m smiling as I remember them on easels in your home around the corner from me. So many wonderful creations since then.
    Deeply fulfilled seeing what you draw. I guess it’s the old ‘picture worth a thousand words’ idea.
    :) )) xoxox Lainey

  • I gave up corporate life almost 5 years ago. My first recognition of freedom was not having to look over my shoulder or cover my back (ass). That crick in my neck disappeared within a week.

  • Alisa

    Thanks for sharing this! You have a beautiful gift of communicating truth with humor and transparency.

    Haven’t we all felt like we’re trying to fit into a place we weren’t made for from time to time? Recently I told my husband I love peonies because as they bloom the actually change colors and their fragrance grows. Most flowers lose their vibrancy and begin to smell like dirty water after being in a vase for a while, but peonies make the most of their circumstances and bloom with everything they have to the last moment before finally letting go. I hope that would be said of me!

    • Thank you for saying that!
      What a beautiful way to look at growth….through peonies. I adore them too because they’re so full of exuberance.
      I did notice that they change colors…but I never thought about it that way. Gorgeous!

  • Fabulous and inspiring story. I loved your interview as well. What a treasure to have you in the First Tuesday community.

    I not only outgrew my career, but my marriage, my friends, and even my state….
    Been in CA now for 15 + years, and still reinventing:) Life is such a joyous adventure, when we keep our Goddess connection alive and well.

    Thank you my Goddess Woman, for daring to declare, do and BE.

    • Thank you, Lin. Wow, you’ve done a lot of shedding. And blossoming. Thanks for reading my interview! It’s such a new experience reading what I have to say in that context. And this one. It helps to be surrounded by such support.

  • Susan Reiner

    I’m so glad you had the courage to find a bigger and more suitable container for yourself. Too many women have lived their lives squished into bud vases. You are one of the way-showers of how to live a life of authenticity. Your writing is a joy– what a beautiful balance of humor and seriousness. Goes right to the heart. Keep growing girl! You are an inspiration :)

    • Susan, Goddess bless you for this. It means the world to me for someone who I admire and respect so deeply to see this in me.
      I do believe that the deep healing work I did with you helped create an opening for so much of this to flower.

  • Louise Gonzalez

    Wendi It’s Louise Gonzalez again- Denise Cruz (my dear dear dear friend of 20 years) sent me your blog… thought I would enjoy. Another weird twist. We will meet one day. But, I LOVED the blog! And the topic! Thank you xo

    • Dear Louise,
      What a joy to see you here. I am so happy that women are sharing this with each other. Yes, you and I are clearly meant to know each other.
      We’ll have to work on that. thank you for this.

  • Kristy

    Amazing blog, Wendi. I’m so glad to hear you are making lemonade rather than sitting in a bitter pile of lemons. I applaud you for getting through this transition with grace and elegance. I can’t imagine how wonderfully freeing it must be to be in your comfy shoes vs. the corporate sensible shoes. I’m still stuck in the ill-fitting 9-to-5 vase, but I appreciate you giving me hope. Now I can use your inspiration to dream of someday blooming as brilliantly as you have. Bless you!

    • Thank you Kristy. That means the world to me. I have faith that you will bloom wherever you are.I think the trick is to find little ways to free yourself even when you’re contained.Things that make your heart happy. Keep me posted. <3

  • Krikit

    If pleasure is the reward for growing pains then my traumatic lifetime is surely a field of lilies in bloom. I move into the second half of my life anticipating an abundant harvest!

    Going to college at 55 is the first thing I’ve ever done in my life that is Just For Me. It isn’t something my parents want or my daughter needs or a SO approves of. I’m going because I’m finally choosing something for myself; to further my goal of discovering all of just who I am, and what that might mean. To me, and to the world around me.

    But mostly to me. ~:)

    • What a courageous and loving thing to do for yourself, Krikit. I applaud you and all those gorgeous lilies.

      • Krikit

        You know what Wendi, it IS pretty brave of me, isn’t it? And you, a Goddess of Bravery yourself, would know. Thanks! ~:)~:)

        • It’s VERY brave of you. And I can see that in you because it lives in me, right?

          • Krikit

            Absolutely! You’re are most definitely one of my “bravery” inspirations! Especially since knowing there’s an “Edna” lurking about your life — moving past any of Edna’s criticalness every chance you get is, in my estimation, the bravest of brave acts, Wendi. Thank you for exampling. ~:)

          • From my braveheart to yours xoxo

  • amaya

    You describe the corporate dilemma perfectly, Wendy. I’m so very happy for you!

    • Thank you so much. I find that I do much better as a consultant when I am dealing with corporations. It is a joy to be applying
      all that I learned from my career to my own brand. Thanks for your feedback.

  • Lainey

    Wendi
    I’m the one relishing the artwork in your blogs. Tell me, do some of the blogs inspire new paintings or are the paintings already part of your collection? How does it work? I LOVE THEM COMPLETELY!!!

    • Lainey! So great to hear from you. Actually, I have created new paintings to go with the blog. I have these amazing Crayon d’ache pastels that you use like crayons and paint with like watercolors.I seem to be able to be more spontaneous with them which is better for the feel of the blog I think. It makes my heart smile that you like them.

  • Thank you for putting that so beautifully into words. Yes growth is worth every stretch mark – mentally and physically! The light at the end of the tunnel is a testiment to that – bloom on!

  • I am so there with you. Being in a job you have outgrown can be challenging and yet a lesson in resilience and patience. I feel as if I am building a house and prepping to move into it, but not ready to leave the “full time salary and benefits gig” until the ‘house’ is ready for me. And so I am reaching out and branching out, a sunflower turning it head to its source of nourishment (called heliotropism). I am appreciative of all opportunities to stretch and grow into who I am to become. Seems like you are doing the same.

    <3

    • Dear Edie,
      Yes, I agree about the resilience. I had to stay in the job waaaay longer than I wanted to. So I found ways feed my soul while still there. (laying the foundation of the house so to speak.) And because we needed my salary so badly, I would probably still be there, making the best of it, if I hadn’t been laid off. I love what you said about a sunflower tunring its head to the sun.

  • Amazing isn’t it. The Waterford Crystal turned into a beautiful Mont Blanc. A tool with much more value and sensibiity.

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