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After 25 years as an
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advertising Execu-
woman I'm on a
campaign to inspire
women to unzip their
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Do you know a Goddess
of Transformation?

Each month we'll honor
a woman who has
changed her life or
someone else's. 

Contact me to
nominate yourself or
another goddess
(and tell me why).

The difference between imperfect and I'm perfect is just an apostrophe.


In my next life, I hope to come back as an imperfectionist.

Maybe I won’t have Virgo rising. A father who color-coordinates his sock drawer. Or a mother whose handwriting looks like it belongs in a penmanship book.

Naturally, I rebelled with messy drawers and sloppy handwriting.

But I did develop a “good enough isn’t good enough” self-flagellation system.

If you’re like me, you grew up believing you could (and should) have it all.

The Perfect Job. The Perfect Marriage. The Perfect Family. The Perfect Body. (The Perfect Breakdown?)

We measure our human selves against some airbrushed version of life with Jen’s hair, Angelina’s lips and Martha’s culinary skills.

I think so many of us love Oprah because she’s dared to share her imperfections. No matter how many schools she builds or cars she gives away, Oprah’s the first to admit, that she’s still carrying the weight of  a sad and abusive childhood.

Speaking of weight, I know I could afford to lose a few.

But even at my skinniest, I still obsessed about some part of me that could have been more this or less that.

So, these days, my mission is to learn to love myself just the way I am. Of course, it’s not easy being kind to every new wrinkle or grey strand that shows up in the mirror.

But since I believe the world is a mirror of how we treat ourselves, I’m trying to be as nice to Me as I am to everyone else.

So, when I looked in the mirror today, I actually focused on the color of my eyes (instead of the dark circles under them).

And last night, I even gave my hair a compliment.

Guess what—on days when I say kind things to myself, life feels kinder to me.

Instead of constantly comparing myself to the latest cover girl, I try to remember these words from my wise friend Heather:

If the goddess were living here on earth, how would she carry herself?”

Hmmm…would she starve herself to squeeze into a size 2 pair of jeans?

Would she inject her laugh lines with Botox?

Or would she accept and love her womanly curves and nurture her miraculous body with delicious, nutritious food, enjoying every morsel of it?

Okay, I admit that I’m not totally there yet.

But each day, I do have a little more self-love than I did the day before.

And on those days when my inner Gestapo (a.k.a. Edna) starts berating me and my imperfections, I take a deep breath and put on my walking shoes.

As I pass each front yard, I’m reminded that there’s all kinds of beauty in the Flower Garden of Life.

Does a daisy strive to be as exotic as a hibiscus?

Does a hot pink zinnia wonder if it’s “too much” compared to an elegant white cow lily?

Does a voluptuous rose in full bloom envy a tiny, delicate bud?

Okay, you get the point.

Now, please oh please, do me one little favor.

Before I re-write this thing for the fifth time, tell me something about Perfectly Imperfect You. (Or is it Imperfectly Perfect You?)

Whichever.

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17 comments to The difference between “imperfect” and “I’m perfect” is just an apostrophe.

  • Barby D. Cahill

    I am finding happiness and self love in my Bikram yoga class. The funny thing is you must look at yourself in the mirror for ninety minutes in order to concentrate. And for me who used to only see the ten to twenty pounds I should be losing, I am finally seeing this wonderful body that I was given as the gift that it truly is!! So happy to get your email today, Wendi!!!!!

  • Krikit

    Another “hits home” writing, Wendi. Thanks!

    Earlier this week in my Human Career Development class, a woman from the school’s re-entry program came in to share some info about the great “helps” services available on campus. She was so inspiring, a whole story there — truly one of life’s goddesses, Wendi. ~:)

    She said something that so impacted me, I wrote it down and have it propped up on my desk where I will continue to see it and read it every day. She said, “Success is measured by your own standard.” I think it goes right along with what you wrote today.

    I immediately asked myself, just what IS “my” standard?” Is it real? Is it doable? Is it kind? Her statement continues to provoke me, to cause me to examine how I care for and support myself.

    It’s just what you do for me (and others) with your writing, too. Keep it up, Wendi. Shake us up, cause us to think, to ponder the wonder of ourselves. ~:)

    As for my own “perfect imperfection . . .” I am SO geographically challenged! I know not N from S, E from W. I CANNOT find my car in any parking lot, on any given day . . . unless it were the only one of 2 there. (And then I would have trouble if the other was also a white Jeep. HA!) I was (almost) ALWAYS turn the wrong way out of a building, totally convinced I’m headed in the right direction. I’m not. ~:)

    Do they offer ‘seeing eye’ dogs for the logistically challenged? ~;D

    • Krikit, you truly have been part of my goddesshood…always sharing your support and wisdom. I am so grateful! I understand being geographically challenged.
      I am like that everywhere except in a mall….for some reason, I can always find my way when it comes to shopping. xoxoxo

      • Krikit

        Wendi, until spring of last year I rarely saw any humor in my continual geo-challenges. Then I and a friend went to visit my day & his GF, and in the course of enjoying some lively beverages in NOLA, he (my dad), took a men’s room break. Well, the restrooms were located at a hotel around the long block, up a flight of stairs, down another hallway, turn left . . . you get the idea.

        Anyway, the rest of us continued to enjoy our drinks and convo, until we noticed how long dad was taking to come back. Seems he got lost on his way back from the bathroom. ~;) I never knew that such perfect imperfections could be genetically inherited. HA! ~:D

  • Wendi, goddess, You made me laugh again and feel much better about my 3″ gray roots – almost grown out enough to cut off the brown. I nearly colored it last week when I had a date with a (much) younger man!! Cougar I’m not but decided I’ve worked at revealing the real me too long and living without the chemicals feels too good to go back – and thank you for bringing it to my attention, but nothing beats these coppery brown eyes!!

    PS He thought I was beautiful and sexy – I thought he was silly and a big of a horn dog. Next!!

  • Luana

    I will admit reading to Wendi’s blog makes me feel lighter about all aspects of life. And it is true we love Oprah for sharing her imperfections, as we know we also have ours. And we love Wendi for sharing with us how we all have to overcome our almost anxiety to be perfect and just enjoy the beauty of here and now.
    God Bless Wendi!

    • Thank you Lulu. What you wrote really touches my heart. Lighter….is exactly the feeling I was going for. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
      for this acknowledgement. xoxoxo

  • That’s why I luv the Goddess image. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about owning your strengths (each Goddess had a different “super power”)and stepping into powerful female energy. Ok, now for the perfectly imperfect part about me: I’m a klutz– in what I call real life– not on stage, I bump into things, spill on my self and always when wearing a brand new outfit, and just generally tend to hurt myself…but I do it all w/a laugh and a “oh well” shrug. It’s what makes me, “me.”

  • hi wendi!
    this is truly wonderful!! i am so happy to see what you are doing with your art, wisdom, and writing gifts! thank you for this one in particular…needing to give myself a little more love today! can’t wait to see your book once it’s published!!;) btw thought you might like to know that i am engaged and will be getting married this october! time heals…we are all deserving of love

  • This is so me its not even funny, right down to the virgo rising, my distaste for measuring ( even when sewing precise things..) and the inner self flaggelation about (not) having the perfect house/ car/ manicure/ garden/ business/ health………on and on….. its a wonder i’ve made it this far and still relatively happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks so much for putting it all in perspective!! Its all about loving yourself, where you are at, RIGHT NOW!! warts and all……

    • See….we 11:11 Goddesses have to stick together. Isn’t amazing how you feel a connection with someone and then you find out you have things in common that you couldn’t even imagine. I’m looking forward to our goddess tea

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