Who am I anyway?
After 25 years as an
award winning
advertising Execu-
woman I'm on a
campaign to inspire
women to unzip their
inner joy through
my writing, paintings
and transformational
speaking. To find out
more about me
over here.

Do you know a Goddess
of Transformation?

Each month we'll honor
a woman who has
changed her life or
someone else's. 

Contact me to
nominate yourself or
another goddess
(and tell me why).

Hey, enlighten up on yourself.

Do you ever feel blue? Or blah? Or basically blobby?

Let’s face it, even the most optimistic (and “spiritual”) among us have our downer days.

The real question is, how do you handle them?

Do you become a punishing parent to your inner child?

Do you tell yourself to “snap out of it?”

Or lecture yourself about people who have “real problems?”

But  if one of your friends was in a funk, wouldn’t you just give her a great big squishy hug?

I thought so.(Why are we so much more compassionate to others than ourselves?)

Lately, I’ve had some of those dark, brooding who-am-I-and-why-am-I-here-kinda-days. And nights.

Sometimes, no matter how blessed you know you are, you just plain feel icky.

During those times, I think of a dear friend from my vast past named Geri.

No matter what I was going through, Geri would always listen with an open heart and say:

“That’s okay. You’re allowed.

I was?

You mean I actually had permission to feel what I felt?

I didn’t have to put on a happy face if I didn’t feel like it?

Wow, what a concept.

These days,I’ve lost track of Geri. But I’m learning to be that kind of a friend to myself.

And I’ve found that when you’re stuck in the muck, the only way out is to allow yourself the time and space to be in it.

You know, “be one” with the yuckiness.

At least for a while. (Only you can tell when you’ve allowed it to go on too long.)

It takes trust to wait out those grey clouds that are blocking the sun.

You have to remind yourself that those clouds are eventually going to move. And you can get on with this picnic called Life.

But in the meantime, I say luxuriate in the greyness.

(Actually, some of my best ideas have emerged from periods of fog.)

I say, make yourself  a nice, soothing cup of tea.

And ask yourself “What would feel good right now?”

For me, that might be mashed bananas and milk (the dish my mother made me when I was sick.)

Or a nap. A walk in nature. A playdate.  A manicure.

What about you?

I used to think I could eat or shop or “to-do” list it away.

But now I’ve learned:

It’s only when you let yourself feel what you’re feeling that you start to feel better.

In fact, the happy little painting you see here came out of one of my murkier  moods.

And so did this poem:

You’re allowed to feel icky
You’re allowed to feel blue

Navy or midnight or
whatever blue hue

You’re allowed to feel blah
You’re allowed to feel blobby
Creepy and weepy
sloppy and sobby

You’re allowed to feel mad
to scream and to shout
You’re allowed to do nothing
To sulk and to pout

When you don’t feel like smiling
that’s allowed too
You’re allowed to feel anything
as long as it’s you

Don’t shove those dark feelings
Under the carpet
They’ll just gurgle and ooze
Like sludge in a tar pit

Let yourself feel
whatever you do
The more you flow with it
The sooner you’re through

Let yourself breathe
Let yourself be
The more you allow
The more you’ll be free

Now, I hope you’ll allow yourself a minute to unzip your feelings here.

And maybe even share this post with a friend who could stand to enlighten up on herself.

(By the way, Picasso had his Blue Period before his Rose Period. So why can’t you?)

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15 comments to Hey, enlighten up on yourself.

  • I love your poem. I constantly have to remind myself to allow my feelings to be whatever they are. Acceptance of what is is a big challange sometimes. Thank you.

  • Hey Wendi!

    Thanks for your post. I was in a “quiet” mood today, needing to just sit and be within. Interesting I found this post. Love the empowering statement of “you’re allowed”! It’s so important for us to acknowledge our feelings and let them move through us. There is a huge difference between wallowing and allowing. A big difference between truly releasing through allowing the emotion versus resistance by trying to sweep it away. I like that you stated that each person will know how long to spend with that feeling. Love your comment that “feeling” the feeling is how we feel better! I agree! It allows it to flow through us like a cleansing stream. Sometimes when I’m feeling blue or upset, I’ll look down on myself from a “higher self” perspective as “observer” and watch what I am going through, what I am feeling and this opens the door to additional information that can be quite freeing! Thanks for your Goddess post! :)

    • Dear Crystal,
      I am so happy that you “allowed” yourself to be touched by my post. I must admit I wasn’t myself today and needed to re-read my own post.
      It helps to know that we’re not alone with these feelings and can help each other when we share the truth that’s in our hearts.

      • Dear Wendi,

        Thanks for sharing that you wrote it on a day that you did not feel like yourself. I have those days too and it’s true, if I just sit still with it, I know it will turn around, that happy, positive feeling will come back around again. Needing to sit still and just be is a message for me that there is something to pay attention to, or maybe I just need more self attention for whatever reason. This post got my attention with “Let’s face it, even the most optimistic (and “spiritual”) among us have our downer days.” We’re allowed. :) I think you suggested great ways to focus on “what would feel good now”. Yes, nice to know that we can help each other. Thank you for sharing your truth today and your poem!

  • OH, my goodness — what an engaging, dynamic, fun, and fabulous post, Wendi!

    Love your writing style. You pulled me right down the page (although tugging on my ankles did hurt a bit). :)

    Thank you!

    You’re a breath of fresh air,

  • Elya Braden

    Thanks Wendi – you DID brighten my day! Your artwork is so vibrant and beautiful – just like you!

  • Susan

    Hey You Goddess You:

    This is so on point. Thank you for sharing yourself with us all. Such a gift and so true.

    xoxox Susan

  • Terry Mason

    Wise words, kindly and gently shared. Thank you, Wendi!

  • When my father died I was forced to go back to work right after the funeral. People came into my office and asked “How are you? Are you alright?” I looked up brightly and answered, “I’m fine! Thanks for asking.” Years later, I still feel the loss of both my dad and mom. Emotions I didn’t let myself feel when I was truly ‘blue’ and despondent about my losses.

    Thanks for this wonderful reminder to be authentic and allow the blues mood to color us altogether when they need to. Perhaps we’ll all be happier if we let ourselves feel when we’re supposed to feel. Thank Goddess Lady.

    • Oh, I can just picture you there, trying to make everyone else feel better. I agree…those feelings come up sooner rather than later.
      And they just grow bigger and scarier when we wait til later. I wish someone had told us this stuff when we were younger.
      Would have saved a lot of time and therapy bills!

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