Who am I anyway?
...
After 25 years as an
award winning
advertising Execu-
woman I'm on a
campaign to inspire
women to unzip their
inner joy through
my writing, paintings
and transformational
speaking. To find out
more about me
zip
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Do you know a Goddess
of Transformation?

Each month we'll honor
a woman who has
changed her life or
someone else's. 

Contact me to
nominate yourself or
another goddess
(and tell me why).

And now, a word from your heart.


As women, we’re givers by nature.

We give at the office, at home, at our kid’s schools.

We give to our friends, our communities and our causes.

We give to just anyone who asks. And many who don’t.

Yep, giving is a beautiful thing.

But have you ever noticed how we “do unto others” more kindly than we do unto ourselves?

(Really, would you tell a good friend “you look terrible” every time you looked at her?)

Now, if you’re like me, you’re exceptionally good at tuning into other people’s feelings.

(As a kid, I would watch my mother’s mouth to see what kind of mood she was in. These days, I analyze my husband’s tone of voice and my son’s body language to see what kind of day they’ve  had.)

But how often do we give ourselves that kind of loving attention?

We’re always so busy doing, that it’s hard to even know how we’re feeling.

For example, the other day, I had some  ”free time.” A  few rare, unscheduled hours on a weekend.

Instead of relishing it, I came down with a bad case of “the shoulds.”

I should clean my desk. I should get the car washed. I should do those errands, make those calls, take care of that blah blah blah.

But then, something inside told me to STOP.

And for once, I listened.

I put my hand on my heart, took a couple of deep breaths and asked “What do I need now?”

The words “lighten up popped into my head.

Another breath and then,”time and space.

Wow, it doesn’t get much clearer than that.

Instead of going on “autopilot,” I actually listened to my heart.

I headed out the front door,taking my adorable Lucky (and my adorable self) out for a walk. What a glorious day.

No agenda. No destination. No goals.

I just wandered through the neighborhood like a 5 year old would.

When a butter-colored butterfly fluttered by, I followed her.

I stood in awe as a hummingbird hovered on a wire.

I noticed how many shades of green there are on one branch of a sycamore tree.

How the petals on a hibiscus look like a ballerina’s tutu.

And how the wind tickled the back of my neck.

I have no idea how long I was gone for. I only know how calm and full I felt inside.

The kind of deep, satisfying joy that comes when you give yourself what you need.

And that, my dear goddess friend, is what I wish for you.

(Oddly enough, after that, I got a lot of my should’s done. With less effort and more joy.)

So, even if it feels kind of silly and strange, I urge you to try this:

Just take a moment and put the rest of the world on hold.

Place your hand on that big beautiful heart of yours.

Take a few deep precious breaths.

And simply ask “What do I need right now?”

(It’s kind of like pledging allegiance to Yourself.)

So, what comes to you? A word? A feeling? A picture? (There are no right or wrong answers.)

My heart would really love to hear what yours has to say.

(Just click on the words “Leave a comment” below to post a reply.)

But only if you feel like it.

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37 comments to And now, a word from your heart.

  • Barbara (a.k.a Barbi to you)

    I loved your the posting that said “I pledge allegiance to myself!” What a great idea!

    I have a big case of the “shoulds” when I have free time too, but I am re-training myself to get in touch with what I might need at the moment, and find that if I let myself have that more spontaneous, unstructured “free time,” it really energizes me and was the right thing to do for that moment…

    Keep inspiring us, Wendi.

    Love u
    b

  • With such troubling times surrounding us we can give in or throw in the towel or we can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps (Texas connotation) and ask ourselves “I just want to get by” or as you say and with associated art we can reach to the sky. These times bring out the best in us. And with the best those around us prosper as well. Thank you Wendi. Our higher selves are the same and connected. Let’s continue and move forward with a smile because “When you are smiling the whole world smiles with you”.

  • rani laraine

    Id so like to see teaching (of life skills)like yours taught to the children in all the schools…imagine the change for us all if we had these wonderful tools from a young age…

  • Oh, how beautiful – and really reminded me to slow down, to connect with my inner, and get away from my computer for a while…..I’m heading out for a walk in the sun and will enjoy the flowers and beauty. I do take time for myself often – I dreamed of moving back to the ocean to do that – for many years – but I still need reminders.
    Have a beautiful day and thanks again!
    Diana

  • Taking cues from other’s people’s energy, posture, or facial expression to see what they need is a great tool – it’s called ‘sensory acuity’ – and is a really positive skill to hone. ESPECIALLY when turned on YOU.

    It’s amazing how the coarse of our moments, our days and our lives shift instantly when we are brave enough to shift the focus onto ourselves. I say YES to that, and to all the cool clues in this blog post – love your inspiration goddess Wendi..xxoo

  • Found by ‘mistake’ (i truly believe there are none of those) and so glad i did.I often forget to take time out for me. I am going to pick my daughter up from school and head down the beach, for a walk to connect with her, before we start our afternoon.

  • Barby D. Cahill

    Started my day with Bikram Yoga. I am ready to take on the day!! However, getting my desk clean will have to happen on another day. I am so happy to receive your uplifting link this morning.

    XOXO Barby

  • Love this Wendi! Thank you for sharing. I especially enjoyed how you characterized putting our hand to our heart and asking ourselves, “What do I need now?” as a pledge of allegiance to ourselves. I totally get that and will use that over and over. Perfect you Goddess!!

    My heart said: Breathe and relax.

    So that’s what I am doing. :-)

    xoxo
    Tabby

  • Shanti Shaharazade

    to just be.. breathe in the place where I am at… just take a moment to absorb and feel JOY .. thank you .. love and light! <3

  • fredie

    My Mother with her sunglasses, your mother with her lip. lol I had so many little errands that I HAD to do today. Instead, I think I will grab Sundae and we will go and venture out to find an “Hibiscus” tutu. Hugs my beautiful friend…..fredie

  • Wendi, what a joy to read. You have created a wonderful virtual haven for people to fill their well. I am so thank full to have you in my life. Now “What do I need?” Breakfast and to enjoy every bite, huevous ranchero’s with poached eggs, yum. I will be editing your audio today and connecting with you to deliver it. Have a beautful day.

  • Powerfully beautiful post. Thank you. Begone those who ‘should’ upon you – including your own Inner Critic. Come out from under the muck to see the brilliant color and energy flow of life. Its what you’re here to do.

    Love reading your blogs. Love sending your cards to those I love. You are a color in my rainbow.

    Valery

  • Krikit

    Love how you share your life, Wendi!

    For me, I will change the wording just a bit to “What do I want?” (I don’t do well with “need” as I perceive I ‘need’ very little, and therefore, don’t put myself very high up the list most days.)

    I’m closing my eyes right now, and I’m listening . . . .

    • Thank you, Krikit for this and for sharing your interpretation. Yes, different words speak to each of our hearts.I totally get what you’re saying. xoxo

      • Krikit

        OK, Wendi . . . I’ve listened and what I keep hearing over and over is: I want a playmate.

        I’m fed up with going life without one. That’s want I want, and I think, it’s also what I ‘need.’

        Know a single fella who’s looking for a grounded, creatively crazed artist 5/55 year old who adores the playground and scads of COLOR in her life? ~:)

        • I have lots of ideas on how to attract him. Here’s one to start with….imagine what it will feel like when you are with him…as if you already are.
          Do you feel free? Safe? Listened to? Seen? Do you speak for hours? Giggle? Don’t focus on specifics on how he looks or what he does—that’s too limiting…
          Imagine how expansive your heart feels. How tingly you are when you’re together. How he makes you soup when you’re sick. Whatever….And write those feelings down
          on a piece of paper in the present tense.
          The man I love is: my soul mate, my best friend, a lover of life….etc.
          Start there and I’ll share more later. xoxo

  • I read the latest blog (another good one , by the way) this morning at 6 am. While I did a big hmmmmm I started the morning agenda. This includes waking, feeding and making school lunches for 2 teenagers,and not forgetting to bring my execu-wife her morning coffee. I let the 5 dogs out and took the kids to school. Because of rain bands from Hurricane Karl my decorative concrete business is on hold. Still thinking about this blog I went outside to check on my Kois. They were all lined up next to the bank of the pond telling me they were hungry. Because of the rain storms they hadn’t eaten for 2 days. I fed them and then sat down to watch them and Wendi that is when my reply came to me. Knowing others rely on me is the best gift I can give myself.

  • As always, another inspiring and beautiful post. Doing what feels right will only make life more beautiful and satisfying for yourself! And how wonderful that is. :) I miss you Wendi! xoxo

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